I slept for 11 hours last night. It was a fitful, dreamless sleep that I woke up from often to kick off the sweat-soaked covers because I was burning up or to bundle them all around me because I was freezing cold. And my body still ached.
In my haze, I was reminded of a movie where this guy is detoxing from some sort of hard drug, maybe heroine, and he looked like I felt, like he might have the flu.
And while I was fairly embarrassed to have let my body get so hooked on fatty, salty, carby death treats that to remove it from them for only one day led to heroine-withdrawal-like symptoms, at the same time, I felt so physically miserable that I promised myself if I didn’t feel better in the morning this whole thing was off, blog accountability be damned, because life was too short to voluntarily feel the way I was feeling when there was something I could do about it. (So…note to self: It’s probably for the best that I’ve never done heroine, because clearly my willpower is no match against physical discomfort.)
And I was all set to quit. But then a strange thing happened. I woke up feeling great. Really, really great. No more aches, my body was a normal-person’s temperature, and I wasn’t even hungry.
At the same time, I felt differently than I normally do when I’m feeling good in the mornings. It’s hard to explain.
I told my boss it was like everything was sort of glowing. Everything seemed brighter, somehow. I felt lighter, too. And I was lighter, literally. According to the scale, a whole 5 lbs lighter, but we all know that’s water weight so maybe the lightness I was feeling was just light-headedness. Whatever. After the night before, I was happy to take what I could get in the way of feeling good things. Here are some more feeling good things I noticed:
My skin looked pretty awesome. There are these lines I sometimes notice around my eyes and on my forehead that seemed to have been beaten by the beet juice (ha…ha…). My hair seemed shinier, too, but that could also be because I recently switched shampoos (damn experiment variables!).
And the juice really can keep me full if I respect the 2-3 hour time frame between juices, because I’m fine if I keep to schedule but if I run a little late the hunger hits like a freight train.
That all said, I still miss real food. And I’ve started to miss weird real foods. Yesterday I was all about the fried, cheesy things, and I could still definitely do some of that, but today I’ve found myself fantasizing about chicken sandwiches with avocado, ants on a log, and carrot ginger cashew soup. Probably because I’m like “would it really be so bad if I just cheated a teensy bit with something ‘good’ for me?” and I’m bargaining.
Another confession: Even though I’m feeling pretty good now, when I think about doing this for one more day I get a little panicky. My mind goes to unproductive places like, What if I get shingles? (I read somewhere that someone got that once from the lemonade fast.) and What the hell am I doing? People were meant to eat solid foods! I WANT TO LIVE!!!
But I’m nearly two thirds of the way through it, now. Just like they used to tell us at the doctor’s office when we were kids and getting vaccination shots: It’ll be over before I know it, and then I’ll get a lollypop.