Yesterday on my walk home from work I was stopped at a crosswalk waiting for the traffic to whiz by so I could walk through the “don’t walk” sign like a bad ass (after looking both ways, of course Mom—always!). But there was this car literally inching through the intersection. I was thoroughly annoyed.
I am indiscriminately irritated by all animate objects which place themselves in my walking path: cars, bikes, people, strollers. They are equally obnoxious when they exist in the space I would like to occupy.
Or so I thought until this car, which was in my crosswalk space for far too long and consequently totally on my shit list, finally drove past and I noticed a sticker on the back that read: Student Driver.
Instantly my annoyance gave way to an infinity pool of pity. You poor, poor soul.
(God speed. [Couldn’t resist…])
I decided student drivers in New York get a free pass to that particular annoying driving vice if they so choose. They want to drive at the speed of smell? Fine, if it makes them feel safe—or at least as mildly freaked out as possible at the idea that they’re placing themselves in the path of almost certain death every time they attempt to traverse these roads as a novice motorist.
I tip my hat to you, student drivers in Manhattan. You’re a breed far, far braver than I.